After discussing the virtues of some of the men in my life and some absolutely gorgeous compliments, I was left drawing some conclusions. I have had two serious relationships in the past 20 years, both of which have ended badly and the pair of them treated me badly, in one way or another. Do we let ourselves be treated like this? I'd like to think I'm a confident, vibrant young woman who isn't a doormat. I just happen to be fairly tolerant and 'understanding'. But I'm questioning whether or not I'm a little delusional.
Should I be exploring my inner bitch?
Do I need some perspective?
Maybe - and this is my point - it's less about me, and more about the kind of man us girlies find ourselves attracted to. It's often said about women liking the bastard... is that true I wonder? All my friends seem to have lovely husbands / long-term partners. Sometimes I do wonder why they are together (not all of them).
A-ha! Maybe that's just it....
...the guys we all just end up shagging and getting drunk with for x months/years and are doubtless attracted to are NOT meant to be long term partners for us. I mean, we still need to be attracted in someway, shape or form but does that come in other guises than the physical!? Maybe I'm yet to learn this wonderful lesson in life. Looking inwardly, I'd quite like a guy to be attracted to me for the sort of person I am, not just how I look. So it follows that I should pay more attention to looking for the sort of personality traits I find desirable. Slightly less buff but more inner beauty. So why do we not do this more actively?
I've been told that one of the guys currently in orbit around me is a 'keeper' (for sure) and I'm inclined to agree. I find his company very agreeable and his personality is lovely. He's also kind and attentive without being clingy, which is excellent. Once I get over the fact that he's obviously not a bastard then maybe I'll be able to get past the sticking point and move on to the chance of a fantastic loving relationship.
In other news, I went through my profile on the dating site this morning and removed myself from a fair few 'favourites' lists as I was on about 25. I have now hidden my profile too. I'm not very good at just ignoring peoples messages, unless of course they are ridiculously stupid (of which I've had a few). So I'm hoping to fly under Passion Man's radar, the 6'9" Goat Man will just have to wait, as will the aging Dwarf who is constantly asking me for my phone number or to go for coffee's with him. He wears a medallion...
...nuff said!
I just need to deal with The Rhino who has messaged me this morning. I've not read it yet but I'm sure he will want to IM me today as we haven't spoken really since he came over the weekend before last. He is a nice guy, but I think he has issues and needs to get himself out of his rut but he doesn't seem the type to do that without someone constantly bugging him. I don't want to be that person so I think the bubble that made me want to spend any serious amounts of time with him has burst.
Hmmm, I've not decided how to play that one just yet! Maybe I should be asking my bitch? Answers on a postcard...
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